there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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