Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
