i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you traded sex for a burrito?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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