Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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