were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
