i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize