I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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