SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
