I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
