I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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