You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
