I should be sponsored by Trojan
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
