dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
