I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
