The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
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Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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