im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We have started to decorate penises.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
my poor anus
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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