She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
