You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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