when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
