I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
