she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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