He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
