so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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