Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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