1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
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Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
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You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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