The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
