Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize