So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
