please come you make the beer taste better
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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