You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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