They should really pass out barf bags in church
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
