It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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