I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
