Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
