well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
