Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
