yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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