he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
