i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
This is the high leading the old right now
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
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