I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
