I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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