I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
The air taste purple.
Randomize