she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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