Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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