Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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