Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize