Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.