how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize