Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.