Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra

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(850): View more from Florida

Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?

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(407): View more from Florida

So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!

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(518): View more from New York

4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.

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21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Read it at the TFLN blog
(651): View more from Minnesota

All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"

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(917): View more from New York City

My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.

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(847): View more from Illinois

being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.

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