I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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