Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm drunk

(615): View more from Tennessee

Is that why you're texting me

(405): View more from Oklahoma

Yes

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(405): I'm drunk (615): Is that why you're texting me (405): Yes http://tfl.nu/5xy8

Replies (16) Good night (1687) Bad night (681)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings

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(603): A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings http://tfl.nu/n8bz

Replies (24) Good night (4212) Bad night (728)
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(818): View more from California

i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids

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(818): i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids http://tfl.nu/la8t

Replies (41) Good night (1387) Bad night (5119)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Really* awful people.

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(215): I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people. (215): Really* awful people. http://tfl.nu/94fn

Replies (3) Good night (2848) Bad night (930)
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(925): View more from California

I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??

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(925): I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing?? http://tfl.nu/da8e

Replies (14) Good night (3754) Bad night (936)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.

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(503): I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken. http://tfl.nu/j72e

Replies (6) Good night (878) Bad night (1662)
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(805): View more from California

You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?

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(805): You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina? http://tfl.nu/lipw

Replies (9) Good night (2846) Bad night (935)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...

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(608): This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me... http://tfl.nu/38uj

Replies (10) Good night (3770) Bad night (631)
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(801): View more from Utah

walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.

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(801): walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home. http://tfl.nu/tt4s

Replies (7) Good night (3283) Bad night (668)
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(616): View more from Michigan

When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."

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(616): When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED." http://tfl.nu/uf90

Replies (8) Good night (1784) Bad night (1024)
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(703): View more from Virginia

we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.

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(703): we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome. http://tfl.nu/tn3b

Replies (4) Good night (767) Bad night (478)
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(917): View more from New York City

Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?

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(917): Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now? http://tfl.nu/50ap

Replies (2) Good night (1260) Bad night (380)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?

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(814): Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me? http://tfl.nu/bnes

Replies (2) Good night (722) Bad night (445)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.

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(513): Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for. http://tfl.nu/4mzo

Replies (0) Good night (412) Bad night (241)
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(850): View more from Florida

That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament

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(850): That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament http://tfl.nu/5bou

Replies (0) Good night (735) Bad night (259)

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