Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before

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(206): sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before http://tfl.nu/9maa

Replies (84) Good night (1041) Bad night (3737)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.

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(405): I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween. http://tfl.nu/pkl3

Replies (20) Good night (5873) Bad night (573)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.

(478): View more from Georgia

I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.

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(513): Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit. (478): I'll get my vaginal cartography poster. http://tfl.nu/m8ec

Replies (28) Good night (5796) Bad night (1150)
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(408): View more from California

It's chlamydia! Thank God!

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(408): It's chlamydia! Thank God! http://tfl.nu/1hqj

Replies (25) Good night (1513) Bad night (8321)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.

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(503): I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/wdtm

Replies (5) Good night (906) Bad night (2280)
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(509): View more from Washington

My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.

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(509): My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina. http://tfl.nu/xxcl

Replies (9) Good night (3036) Bad night (1155)
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(713): View more from Texas

I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight

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(713): I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight http://tfl.nu/pekh

Replies (14) Good night (1836) Bad night (1121)
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(407): View more from Florida

Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.

(1-407): View more from Florida

Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.

(407): View more from Florida

Bro? You just made it a target.

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(407): Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy. (1-407): Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far. (407): Bro? You just made it a target. http://tfl.nu/0hg2

Replies (8) Good night (2331) Bad night (935)
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(+32): View more from Belgium

It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched

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(+32): It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched http://tfl.nu/cbi6

Replies (3) Good night (888) Bad night (422)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...

(732): View more from New Jersey

I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.

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(201): sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now... (732): I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by. http://tfl.nu/2bov

Replies (3) Good night (572) Bad night (981)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?

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(832): I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going? http://tfl.nu/o7kr

Replies (8) Good night (1023) Bad night (616)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."

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(603): I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses." http://tfl.nu/iu6o

Replies (2) Good night (856) Bad night (238)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen

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(412): with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen http://tfl.nu/zqf6

Replies (6) Good night (852) Bad night (404)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER

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(215): And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER http://tfl.nu/p5xk

Replies (2) Good night (842) Bad night (168)
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(315): View more from New York

why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?

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(315): why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing? http://tfl.nu/jphv

Replies (3) Good night (439) Bad night (171)

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