Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.

(504): View more from Louisiana

Who won?

(225): View more from Louisiana

All of them.

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(225): I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away. (504): Who won? (225): All of them. http://tfl.nu/xlra

Replies (81) Good night (9716) Bad night (1888)
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(630): View more from Illinois

According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"

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(630): According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for" http://tfl.nu/5bi3

Replies (120) Good night (1165) Bad night (4326)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.

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(678): I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job. http://tfl.nu/y0of

Replies (13) Good night (1051) Bad night (3403)
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(513): View more from Ohio

you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.

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(513): you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression. http://tfl.nu/ehn5

Replies (6) Good night (1109) Bad night (2971)
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(254): View more from Texas

I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time

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(254): I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time http://tfl.nu/rajz

Replies (21) Good night (8479) Bad night (1020)
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(314): View more from Missouri

the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.

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(314): the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick. http://tfl.nu/zpzn

Replies (18) Good night (1315) Bad night (6430)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.

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(503): Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general. http://tfl.nu/8yi1

Replies (9) Good night (5029) Bad night (1224)
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(682): View more from Texas

While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.

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(682): While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird. http://tfl.nu/l3im

Replies (12) Good night (1197) Bad night (4183)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.

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(678): Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job. http://tfl.nu/5ogs

Replies (11) Good night (4224) Bad night (958)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.

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(513): Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen. http://tfl.nu/spnv

Replies (2) Good night (941) Bad night (1906)
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(806): View more from Texas

It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.

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(806): It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there. http://tfl.nu/4q4i

Replies (8) Good night (507) Bad night (1452)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.

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(734): Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on. http://tfl.nu/8pzz

Replies (4) Good night (1080) Bad night (450)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

Fair enough.

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(860): If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face. (1-860): Fair enough. http://tfl.nu/elro

Replies (0) Good night (779) Bad night (500)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.

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(405): Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe. http://tfl.nu/6c5y

Replies (0) Good night (343) Bad night (531)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.

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(715): When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze. http://tfl.nu/659s

Replies (3) Good night (775) Bad night (292)

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