you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.