R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
