used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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