Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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