Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
