why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
