GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
