i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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