Cold hands, warm shart.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
