On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
