How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
