The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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