I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
